This adoption is probably not going to happen

It looks very likely that the adoption has fallen through.

The birth mom has arranged for childcare. She has a new job. They have asked that the case stay open in case she changes her mind after the birth, but no one is optimistic. It is obvious now that we did not understand how cultural differences might play into this decision. I just got off the phone with Chris - yes, we knew the risk when we started the process and we totally understand her decision and know that God has a plan and it all works out in the long run and are glad that this little girl will never have to deal with feeling abandoned by her mother and trust that this is the best decision for all. But still I am very disappointed. Yesterday I ran into another mom I know vaguely - she not only has a little adopted daughter, she works for an adoption agency. We talked through all of this and I even amazed myself about how I have had a total sense of peace and calmness ever since the warning signs started to appear - but that has evaporated today.

I know that I can not even put myself in the same category as someone that had a miscarriage, but we do feel a great loss. We have been preparing for this new member of the family - we are all excited, but it is what it is. This is a situation that I can not control in any way. I am sad, disappointed and heart broken. I am mad - not at the birth mom - but at the situation. Wondering what we will tell the kids (even though we will probably not say anything until after the birth mom has taken the baby home from the hospital and everything in final).

Plans from here - well, ironically we have 9 hours of adoption interviews scheduled for the next 2 weeks! I have to get my fingerprints done for the THIRD time for FBI and CBI checks. We are scheduling an appointment with the Adoption Agency director to see what are options are. We are planning on completing the home study process in case she changes her mind. We could look at domestic adoption, international adoption or nothing at all. I really have no idea...