My favorite Christmas memories number 2

A friend sent me a quick email. Would I mind finding some things for a baby girl that was born and the parents did not have anything for her. ANYTHING... not even a crib. She left the hospital with a couple of blankets and outfits.

Oh my goodness - I LOVE to do things like this! This is ME from head to toe. I love to ask people to help. I love to explain things like this to my kids. I love to see what is provided and I am always, ALWAYS surprised!

A short posting on Facebook asked if anyone wanted to be a Christmas angel to this little girl. First reply from a generous friend with a huge heart. Second reply from a woman whose very nature is nurturing. Third reply from the single mom whom we were going to adopt her baby (see all the adoption postings - it is a long story), but she decided to keep it.

Yep, the mom and I are friends on Facebook. And here is this single mom who is up to her ears taking care of darling 6 month old Bethany and she wants me to know she has clothes to donate. Seriously - see what I mean by pleasant surprises? I am so proud of that mom! Chris, never a big Facebook fan, told me he wa

s a Facebook believer - with a one day posting we were able to get all the baby essentials.

As people brought things over, I had them drop the bags in the living room - which just happens to be where we put the Christmas tree. There was a stash of baby things: a stroller, clothes, blankets, a diaper bag, the most darling bedding EVER, towels - and with 2 cash donations we even got a crib and mattress. All things baby!!

And that is when it hit me... to me these "gifts" which found their way into our living room were the most meaningful things under the tree this year. Random people giving gifts and expecting n

othing in return - they were just doing it because a part of them loves to help others.

Could anything be more appropriate? A crib for a little baby that did not have a bed, in honor of another baby that was placed in a manger.

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky looked down where He lay,

The little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay.

Where have I been

Thank goodness I am not making a living being a blogger! My family would be starving now and living on the streets. We have been very busy and I have been almost overwhelmed by life.

How do I know? Was it because I wept through, "Meet Molly, The American Girl" (Chris looked at me and said, "Are you really crying?") Was it because I cried through the Time Traveler's Wife? Was it because I cried through the music at church on Sunday (you know when you have to quickly wipe away the tears so no one sees you doing the ugly cry). Or when I went for a walk on Sunday I ended up walking for miles and crying as I watched the sunset. Hmmm - you don't have to be very intuitive to realize that all this crying is not normal. But it is not wrong - it is just where I am right now.

Recently, a neighbor I barely know asked me how I was doing. I discussed the things going on and she said... "So that is it, I mean I know that is a lot, but your husband hasn't lost his job and your house is not in foreclosure and everyone is pretty healthy." As a worship leader at our church she hears many stories. And even though I know that everything is relative and everyone deals with things differently - of course there are so many people out there that have much bigger things going on in their lives. But this is my life - and what is God trying to teach me right now?

I have always had this thought during difficult times - I know that taking a bigger perspective on things is key in growing from them. But I recently read a web posting that gave a wonderful step by step guide on how to do that... so here it is, borrowed from my friend Keitha's web site. I LOVE this way of approaching spiritual growth!

{SPIRITUAL GROWTH PLAN}::

Spiritual Growth Plans are part of our school day (life) as well. The purpose of the SPG is to teach my children how to identify places for growth or elimination in their lives and systematically take them before the Lord and "work their fields." It is a way to teach them to battle sin. Again, I have one as well.

Funny inside joke: we also refer to them as fire escapes.

Ok...heres how we make them....

The SGP binders are separated by tabs.

Tab 1::

Identify an issue in your life that you believe the Lord is trying to grow or eliminate (can be a good area that I need to grow or a sin I need to get rid of). If it is a behavior, be sure to be looking for the heart issue and to work on that. Its usually based in unbelief.

Tab 2::

Find key passages in Scripture to study related to the issue. If there is a book of the Bible that hits the issue, I shoot for the entire book. For the girls...just a verse. Sometimes it is multiple passages in different books. I try to focus my quiet time on the study of these passages.

Tab 3::

Choose memory verses related to the issue. The number depends on how long I think I'll be working on the issue.

Tab 4::

Select a good Christian book to read on the area of growth. Or, good teaching CD's, articles, etc. For the girls I ask them to think of p&w songs or hymns that teach the truths needed in their struggles. They become more personal when they think of them.

Tab 5::

Determine how I can look at this issue in the context of church service and ministry to the Body of Christ - if I am working on selfishness, make sure I am giving of myself in service, etc. For the girls...just writing out a battle plan is the norm. Ultimately we will be to service, not quite there yet.

Tab 6::

Make a plan to note change and growth. If you aren't looking for it, you may not see it. If we don't see it, we are less inclined to keep up such projects. This often requires help from people who know us well. Accountability from a spouse or friend could fit in here, but you want to be sure there are some specific changes that you want to see in your life that are measurable in some way. That way you are more sure to hit the target or to see when you are not.

FUTURE LIST::

In light of the above, I now keep a list at the back of my binder of areas that I know need growth. I also keep lists (yes, I am definitely a list person!) of books I want to read, books of the Bible or passages I want to study and verses I would like to have memorized. I try to look at these lists as very long term goals that I can pick from when I am ready to move on to a new area of growth.

I wish I had been taught this years ago. It seems so practical, but no one ever laid it out clearly to me. It can be daunting to see all the areas of growth that I need, but it is encouraging to work on one at a time. No doubt they will not all fall off the list forever, as something like pride will be ongoing. But hopefully there is victory and growth each time it is worked on. Also, victory in one area tends to overflow into other areas!

So... the brief rundown for KIDS. Its abbreviated in scale as is appropriate for the age of child. This is what ours looks like. I will use the example of FEAR to help you get a better picture:

Tab 1: Identify spiritual area for growth or elimination (FEAR)

Tab 2: Identify what to battle it with: verses, passages, etc. (JOSHUA - he had to stand alone, he had to do what was impossible)

Tab 3: Verse to memorize (Joshua 1:9)

Tab 4: Identify a song to sing in times of fear (Voice of Truth, Great is Thy Faithfulness)

Tab 5: Identify ways to face fear and battle it differently than before and have them write out or role play (depending on age) those battle plans. Little ones role play better, obviously. Writing out prayers is VERY helpful here.

Tab 6: (FUTURE LIST) : They keep a running list as they think of new ones to attack in the future.

After a period of time, they feel equipped in one area and we move on to the next that they chose; again, they have them listed in Tab 6. Thus they have the tools to work through any problem/ stumbling block or to tend any new leaf of Grace in their lives.

23 Days - 5 minutes at a time

Here is the bottom line. Chris is leaving. Well, not the life changing, divorce leaving... but the "go out and support the family" leaving. He told me that over the next month he will be gone a total of 23 days. During this time he will be gone over 2 weekends and get to take clients golfing and to Cirque du Soleil and eat at restaurants. I KNOW that even though those are fun things, that he feels totally guilty for being gone so long and would trade them to be home. But I rely on him so much for support and help - that 23 days seems like an eternity to me!

Realistically, I know 23 days is not so bad. My recently widowed friend across the street is doing it all on her own and I am amazed at her strength. I would be laying in bed with a blanket over my head, but she is up every day - working out, learning to mow the yard, figuring out how to get the sprinklers fixed, ferrying her kids to sports - I am in awe of how she gets things done and stays strong - she has told me she is moving on with her life. What a healthy thing do. A friend from my Bible Study has 3 boys - and her husband travels EVERY week from Sunday night to Friday night... seriously??? She is another woman who does what she needs to do without complaint. I know friends whose husbands lived in another state for almost a year and military wives whose husbands are gone for months. 23 days - that should be nothing.

But, I find myself dreading it. So hear it is - Day One. I am choosing to pick myself up and face this challenge head on. I refuse to wallow in self pity and whine (well, except for the first paragraph of this posting that was a little whiny). I always do good when there is a goal that needs to be accomplished - and so here it is. 23 days - I will not whine. I will look for every good thing in the next 23 days and focus on those things and be thankful. I will use the next 23 days to grow and hopefully be transformed. I accept the next 23 days as a blessing that will allow me to become a better wife, mom and friend.

I recently read a quote by Charles Spurgeon. Someone asked him how long he prayed for.

He answered, "I never pray more than five minutes at a time, but I never go five minutes without praying."

Love this. In my life right now, with the boys still out of school for 4 1/2 more weeks, time is a commodity. I know that I can be a whiner - but by looking for some type of spiritual growth through this, I can see the bigger picture. I am at a bit of a low right now in my life - not a serious depression - but it has been a long, emotional and draining 7 months. Usually a "get it done" kind of gal, I am feeling a little bankrupt in my life. By continuously turning over small parts of my day to prayer, I remember one of the truths I learned growing up, " that God loves me and has a plan for my life." Ok God - feel free to show this plan to me!

I have started to read the boys Proverbs most morning. Reading it out of "The Message" brings a whole new perspective in a language that is relevant to my life. This morning in Proverbs 16:2 it said, "Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good, God probes for what IS good." I don't want things in my life to just have the appearance of good - I want it to be a deeply instilled part of my life.

Proverbs 16:9, "We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it." And there it is - how I will get through the next 23 days. 5 minutes at a time.

Easter

Oh happy day, oh happy day

Oh happy day, oh happy day

When Jesus washed

Oh when he washed my sins away!

We happily shared Easter with some neighbors and friends and are so glad that each of our kids has a heart that loves Jesus!

The Cross

This was my birthday present from my kids (along with a High School Musical Keychain, a princess pad of paper and some mouse traps - seriously). Anyway - guess which present was my favorite?

It is a big cross - nothing that a Texas girl would be afraid of, but women from many other states might shy away from it.

But that is probably exactly what I need - a big old cross out there to remind me that it is all about Jesus. And that He should increase in my life and I should decrease.

Thanks kids!

Piper's heart and the Guinea Pig

I love this picture of Piper (taken by neighbor Nikkie Roberts) so much that I had to reuse it.

I came home the other night and Chris said Piper had some news for me. I had been at a PTO meeting and Chris had read the kids a Bible story. Then they looked at a picture cube their Grandfather had given them that explains what a Christian is. Fletcher looked at Piper and said, "Pipe, do you want to become a Christian?" Piper said yes and they all prayed together.

She also prayed that Jesus would be in our new Guinea Pig's (Indiana Jones) heart. For a 4 year old, her understanding of what this decision means seems totally appropriate - sharing her love for Jesus with those she loves... even if it is just a guinea pig.

At preschool she has been learning about how the heart pumps blood through her body. She then talked about how Jesus is in her heart pumping blood to her fingers and toes. Isn't that a cute picture - Jesus sitting in there making everything works just right.

Her theology probably won't stand up to much scrutiny, but I love the thought. I have a clear picture of becoming a Christian around 5 at a children's church event. So I have no doubt that God can claim the heart of a little one. As she grows up - and works out her faith - I know that there will be times she questions, struggles and searches. Anyone that becomes a Christian as a little child, must grow up in their faith. Thank goodness you don't stay a baby forever, but that means growing pains. Isn't it great that faith is not stagnant, but matures when we do!?

And as she matures, I pray that her decisions will bring her back to this point... where she loves Jesus with all her heart.

Changes in our lives

I am not even sure if I will post this. Nothing is certain and Chris and I are still in the processing and praying stage. But here goes - and we will see if (and when) this actually appears on my blog.

Wednesday night everything was going along very smoothly. Chris had taken the kids to a basketball game with the cub scouts. I was getting ready to host about 5 women at our house for a PTO meeting to plan the End of Year Party for Meadowview Elementary. I received a call from a friend. Long story short... there is a girl that is pregnant and they wanted to know if we would be interested in adopting a baby that is due in June.

Well - that is a bit of a surprise on an ordinary Wednesday night.

Chris and I have always talked about adopting internationally. But we have never attended an adoption conference, met with an agency or done any of the practical steps to make it happen. We just never felt an urgency. I did realize that with the ages of our kids (not to mention MY ripe old age), that if we were going to adopt, it would need to be in the near future.

But here it is - out of the blue - someone almost handing this to us and asking if we wanted to move forward... quickly.

My first impulse was to say yes, but since I had not even talked to Chris I figured that was pretty rash. I told Chris, his first impulse was to say yes. But of course this can not be something that is taken lightly or a decision that should be spur of the moment.

My way to handle big issues is to research them. While Chris works well off instinct, I like to have facts and practical information. Since I know very little about the adoption process, especially domestic adoptions - I delved into an Internet search. Well, that is enough to scare anyone away! Holy cow - I was quickly overwhelmed by the amount of information and opinions.
We both talked to a few people. We both have prayed about it. I called a few adoption agencies to ask questions. I talked to almost everyone I know that either has 4 kids or have adopted - and if they have 4 kids with one adopted, well they were on the top of my list (those are rare - but they exist).

The selfish part of me remembers how I have gushed this year about how easy and enjoyable life is. I have encouraged my friends with small kids, "There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Just wait - it gets SO much better". I have loved not buying diapers, not having to buckle someone into their car seat, and being able to go to the park without anxiously watching in 3 different directions. It is fun to do big kid things with our children and not have to stop for naps.

No doubt about it, that first year when everyone was three or younger was very difficult - I call it "the dark year" since I remember very little. It is all lost in a fog. This year I have felt like the old me! I enjoy my one on one time with the kids. I read more books, I actually complete my Bible study (well, most of the time), I go out on girls nights, Chris and I went to Costa Rica without the kids - not only have I seen the light - the light is bright and shiny and fabulous!

This morning Chris left on a trip, so I took the kids to church. Not able to concentrate on the sermon, I started a Pros and Cons list. After completing it, it was actually comical to review. While some of the Cons are valid, like honestly thinking about how I will feel with 4 more years of a little one at home, most of the Cons are items that I am almost embarrassed to admit.

• Vacations will be more expensive
• I thought I might get a part time job
• Life is so easy right now, why would I mess that up?
• We won't be able to go skiing as easily

The Pro side was totally different

• This is the type of person that I want to be
• The Bible talks about how real faith is taking care of widows and orphans - do I really have that type of faith? Or do I just like to talk about it
• This is the type of person I hope my kids grow up to be
• This would teach all of us to be less selfish
• This would be another person we could share our lives with
• What will be more significant years from now, that I took a vacation or that we added a person to our family
• This will allow our kids to grow
• The kids are bigger now and can actually help
• This is more than I could have hoped for - an Asian (yep, international adoption without going international) baby that will be born in Denver to two people that do not come from a drug or abusive background.
• I have always been scared about bonding issues that sometimes occur with foreign adoptions, we would be at the birth of this baby and bring him/her home from the hospital
• Fletcher and Griffin will both be in school all day next year so that will free up some time
• We could offer this child an instant family

When you compare them side by side - there is no comparison. We will see where God leads...