But we want her to...

Well - it has been a crazy week. We met with the agency on Tuesday to discuss options. I appreciated the director's frankness when she said that we had about 0% chance of adopting a healthy baby. Since we already have 3 children with no history of pregnancy issues, we would be good candidates to adopt a hard to place child. Hard to place would mean a child from a different race (and for us that is not a problem at all - we are always surprised when people think that is a big issue), the mom has alcohol or drug issues, children with extreme behavioral or emotional issues, older children, sick children. She mentioned 3 children that are looking for placement - 2 boy siblings with severe behavior issues or a baby who has a disease that is so rare she is the only case in Colorado. How heartbreaking is that? Are we feeling led this way - no. We both feel that is not a good option for our family - but how sad. These sweet, innocent children that do not have a home.

International adoption is an option, but there are several countries we do not qualify for. For Nepal, if you have both boy and girl biological children you can not adopt. Some countries we are too old. Some countries you have to go and stay for several MONTHS (not sure how that happens with 3 kids at home!). And there are some countries we do meet the requirements for - we would need to work with another agency who focuses on international adoption, as well as our current agency who would complete the homestudy.

We could terminate the contract and if Zoe's mom changes her mind after the baby is born - we could do everything on the other end. A messy, chaotic option, but still an option.

We asked the director for a few days to process our options. Yesterday I was suppose to meet with the birthmom and she called me at the last minute to back out. She has dropped out of her GED classes. There are just not a lot of happy solutions.

We told the kids this weekend. Fletcher had asked originally if the baby's mom was going to be sad to let her go. We told them that she was sad, in fact she was so sad she decided she might want to keep baby Zoe for herself (note to self - if we go through this again - don't name the baby until the last minute!). Piper, who is the one who talks about baby Zoe the most was the one that accepted it the best (the blessing of being 4). Fletcher was also sad, but Grif was the most upset. He cried for over 30 minutes and said, "But tell the mommy we want her, too. We want to keep her, too."

Chris leaves town on Tuesday, so I will meet with the director again next week with our final decision.